and I'm re-building...

I haven't blogged or written online since my house flooded in May, and that is getting ready to change. I decided this wonderful writing below deserves a post because it has been my "re-read of the year" for 2010 and has definitely kept me seeking and searching the TRUTH and HOME in my own personal, spiritual journey. Thank you to all my relationships who have helped me through this transition! There are SO many people to thank and be grateful for!

If you have already read it, read it again!

I anxiously await the rest of my year, the rest of my life here...love love LOVE!!

THANKS TO ALL WHO HAVE HELPED ME RE-BUILD AND CONTINUE TO HELP ME BUILD AUTHENTIC, EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS...

It costs nothing to be honest, loyal and true! (Avett Brothers)

truly exhilarating to think on covenant...

Jennie Lee :)

How to attract emotionally healthy people:

By E.K.Bernshaw

1. Who you think you are is important. Like attracts like. Think about it. Do you like who you are?

2. What you want in a relationship is important, and when you are willing to ask for it, you will be able to create it. But only ask for what you want when you are clear about what it is. Until then, don't go around demanding things you just think you should have.

3. We get exactly what we focus on. The problem or the solution. We make a choice between them with every decision we make.

4. Tell yourself the truth about what you want, not what other ( family, friends, spouse) say your should have.

5. Tell everyone else your truth about what you want. Don't be afraid to share your vision and dreams.

6. You are not defined by your relationships unless you choose to be. Consider what it says about you if you deed over your soul to one.

7. Interdependent (two independent functional people) relationships are the only ones that work, long term.

8. Truth is the first thing necessary to create trust in our relationships. Respect is earned from trust, and love is earned from respect. Intimacy is the gift we get when we risk telling the truth. See the hierarchy of a functional relationship

9. Fear of intimacy is fear of the truth. Your truth is better for you than someone else's. Just get to know what it is so you can own it.

10. If your relationship is not getting better, it is probably getting worse. Life is dynamic and nothing ever stays the same.

11. Every relationship is unique. It takes what it takes to work. If you want it to work, you have to work it. No shortcuts. No 50/50 deals.

12. It's not your job to fix your mate, and it's not his or her job to fix you. Take the relationship and what your mate says at face value and stop reading into it what you'd like to hear. We can work with what's real. It's impossible to deal with what's not real.

13. Unconditional love is an inside job. If you haven't gotten it by now, guess what...start working from within. When you can give it to yourself, you'll be ready to give it to someone else. If you can give it to someone else, you'll recognize it when it's given to you.

14. If you both are committed to creating a functional relationship, agree to start doing it today, without any judgments about the past. Be willing to work in the solution and let go of your need to control the outcome, moment to moment, one day at a time. Joy can only be experienced in the present moment.

15. Most of our fears about what may happen in this relationship are really fears we experienced in past relationships, and have nothing to do with this person. Come to grips with what's real and what's Memorex!

16. When in an argument, ask yourself Does this really PASS THE SO WHAT TEST? For you to be right, does the other person have to be wrong? Think about it. Life is short. Don't waste it on arguments that have no meaning or purpose. You can always agree to disagree if you need to. Then laugh about it and go on to the next thing. Start observing your arguing as just another one of our dysfunctional, immature habits that need to be broken.

17. When we finally learn to say we are sorry (at 3 or 93) we get to finally hear we are O.K. To error is human, and there is great virtue in all forgiveness, ourselves included. The best ways to teach our children this lesson is by watching us demonstrate it.

18. Any negative, hurtful or sarcastic remark is abusive. Like a sharp knife, each word will carve out a chunk of a loving relationship that can never grow back. Please consider the source and the outcome of your remarks, before you open you mouth to tell your truth.

19. Never let a day go by without saying and showing how much your relationship and partner mean to you. Never take a moment for granted. Express how grateful you are for your good fortune, however meek or humble it may be. Appreciation and gratefulness have magic in them. It seems the more we express them, the more reasons we are given to say thank you.

20. To have a functional relationship you have to be willing to risk loosing it everyday, by telling your truth. If you don't feel free to tell your truth, start asking yourself why you think it's so important to stay, and what else you are willing to lose besides your self-esteem. For starters, you can ask your mate to tell their truth, and be willing to accept it at face value, with no judgment. Now you both get to know if you each want a relationship based on what's real.

For optimum results, start doing this in the first five minutes of meeting anyone.

HIERARCHY OF A FUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP

INTIMACY

LOVE

RESPECT

TRUST

TRUTH

What is a functional relationship?

Without the beginning base of truth in a relationship, trust cannot occur. Without the development of trust, respect will never be born. Without a level of respect for another, a functional relationship of love will not seed and nourish the partners. Intimacy occurs when we become willing to share our whole selves with another in this order. It is the gift we get when we learn to engage in a balanced, loving

and functional relationship.

© Copyright 1999 E.K.Bernshaw All Rights Reserved

www.transitionscounseling.com

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Eve Bernshaw, author of TheTransitionProcessT is a career and transitions counselor . She maintains a private practice, training and consulting firm that specializes in functional decision-making and communications in career, business and relationship issues. As a business development consultant for over 25 years, she continues to advise organizations and individuals on issues surrounding their professional and personal growth, vocational change, or independent venture development.

http://www.transitionscounseling.com/

He'll fix it...

Wednesday, February 24, 2010 will go down as one of the lowest points of my life to date. Let's just hypothetically say I buried someone who I have imagined to be dead for quite some time. Not to sound overly dramatic, but it just had to be that way. I have mourned and cried for almost two months now. And I know an arm or leg will pop out of this mind-grave over the rest of my life, but even the ghost of this person will not haunt me anymore.

Having said that, Friday, February 26, 2010 seems to be getting extra bright. I just found out that my car's rear workings had about 20 more miles on them, and then I could have wound up in a REAL grave of my own. So, praise God! He has brought people into my existence to help me deal with my problems!! Praise Him for replacing a not so great help-mate, with several willing hands and kind hearts who will actually fix something for me, and not make it worse. Praise God for the ability to discern in the future who will help me and who will not. Praise God for meditation and praise God for REAL friends, not the ones who say they are your friends and then never show any interest to actually BE your friend. Praise God for the ones who see through me and understand my pain and brokenness and know exactly what to say to make me feel loved. Praise God for friends who will call you up just to pray with you. Praise God with thankful tears and an open heart. Praise God for the ever-present need to rebuild trust. Praise God in my single state. Praise God for being the ultimate Consoler of the lonely.

Praise God. He will fix it all. Trust me. I know.

He who loves, never grows old. God is a shining example. You may feel that in this world, some people are very bad. But by feeling that a person is very bad or by hating that person, are you gaining anything? That particular person has not gained anything from your hatred. And what have you done? By hating that person, you have lost something very sweet in yourself. Why should one lose something very precious of her own, just because she wants to correct someone by hating him? In this world, we have to be very wise. You will say that he is very bad and that you have to do something. But hating is not the right instrument. If you want to use the right weapon, the most effective weapon will be love. - Sri Chinmoy

love never fails you

Another day of hearts has passed, and I must say I feel fine. I feel fine indeed.

I know I am not completely "fine" along the lines of my great sadness, but I am seeking and searching, and I know I am doing a FINE job in those aspects. I know because I am finally moving in the RIGHT direction! Hallelujah. Since my alone time with God, I see my life in a different light. Or rather, I see light in almost everything in my life. Nothing is the same in my heart since that weekend of being cooped up with the dogs and God. My prayers seem to have taken a turn for the better and I am learning how to really talk to God. Music falls on my ears with more clarity and complexion. I look at myself in the mirror and enjoy seeing the very small changes in my face- my eyes, mouth, lips and cheeks- all seem to "reflect" and "dance" a little more every day. I look forward to being alone, because I know then I am closer to God and our talks. I look forward to seeing friends because I know I am changing and I know they will see the change. Maybe not now, but they will! I look forward to speaking less and acting more.

Each day, I wake up with a sense of purpose, and even though I am far from healing in the land of all my mistakes, I am nurturing my wounds with a Higher Power.

I thought yesterday would be tough. I had been preparing myself for the dramatic wishing of flowers and a sweet valentine's day card. Or a sweet kiss. Or a romantic dinner. Or just a touch. I knew none of these things would happen, and I was ready to be a little sad, embrace my loneliness and go on. The sadness did not come right away. I attended the early service at my church and I was amazed, as I have been over and over again in this journey, at how God is working in my heart. The pastor's sermon was about men preparing to be good husbands. A book called "Wild At Heart" was referenced several times throughout the sermon. This particular book has been a part of a personal battlefield with me and various relationships at different stages of my life. Most recently, with the love I just lost. I prayed for him, just like I do every single day. But, then, I prayed for me. I prayed and I praised- thankful and releasing it all to God, as I do every day since the weekend of my most intimate encounter with God.

After the sermon, the offering was taken up, and a young artist sang an original song called "Love Never Fails" based on the verse in 1 Corinthians. It was as if God scooped me up and rocked me right there in my seat. There was the embrace! There was the love I needed. It's all I needed...

The rest of my Valentine's Day was spent enjoying scrumptious food with a dear friend and then coming back home to write and then off to work. I arrived joyful, but halfway through my shift, I felt the sadness. There it was. I felt it with great heaviness. I let myself feel it all the way up until I got back home. I knew I had to feel it, and I knew I could feel it without going too deeply into it, because God was still holding me. I fell asleep releasing it and awaiting the morning...another morning to know more about the greater love that never ceases to fail me.

Yes, I have a love that never leaves me, and He is teaching me to fly; preparing me in the waiting for greater, truer earthly love and enormous heavenly love in my future...

Hallelujah.

Brandon Heath- Love Never Fails

shackled in snow, learning to fly...

Philippians 1:9 (Message)

So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much, but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.

I have had a God-filled weekend. Friday morning, I woke up at 7am to take my brother to the airport. As I drove my rear-wheel drive car back into Bellevue at 8:30am, there were tiny snowflakes spilling onto my windshield. I was thankful I would be back home before the "blizzard" hit. I was kind of incredulous about the predictions of over a couple inches of snow here in Nashville. We don't get much of that white stuff. But, much to my surprise (and half chagrin/half delight), by noon it had been snowing quite heavily, and it didn't stop coming down until late into the wee morning hours of Saturday.

* Anytime you say it with heart, anytime you are falling apart...you're coming home to Me, just remember, you're coming home to Me... (Patty Griffin- Coming Home to Me)

The snow kind of stopped my world- as I have known it for so long. There are not many weekends where I am at home alone. I mean, I had two dogs here with me, but still, I am either working (my work week starts on Thursday nights and ends Monday nights) or there has usually always been someone here with me- whether it's a room-mate, a boyfriend, a friend, my brother in rare case, or I had something fun to do away from my house...but this particular weekend, I have spent a good 48 hours and counting, alone.

It was just Jennie...and God.

* Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. (Albert Einstein)

* Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. (Blaise Pascal)

* Falsehood has an infinity of combinations, but the truth has only one mode of being. (Jean Jacques Rousseau)

As I have said in previous musings, I knew I was embarking on a spiritual journey this year, but every week, I realize it's a journey unlike anything I have experienced before. My hours- days- alone this last weekend of January, have confirmed in my soul that God is taking me for the ride of my life. Or rather, the flight of my life.

* Jesus, I my cross have taken, all to leave and follow Thee, Destitute, despised forsaken, Thou from hence my all shall be. Perish every fond ambition, all I've sought or hoped or known, Yet how rich is my condition! God and heaven are still mine own. (Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken)

* When you stand back and consider, you are confronted with how little is actually under your control. When you stop and look, you are faced with your smallness, your weakness and your limits. But don't get discouraged and don't panic; reality is a healthy place to be. Think about it. Only when I humbly embrace my weakness, humbly admit my limits, and humbly admit how small I actually am, can I begin to reach out for the help of a loving, powerful, and gracious Redeemer who is the true source of my strength, wisdom, and hope. Only then can I begin to function as an instrument in his powerful hands, rather than being in his way because, in forgetting who I am and who he is, I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO DO HIS JOB. (Tripp- Broken Down House)

I've always professed to be a Christian, but I have been looking at little signs lately, and I realize, I've never gone really that deep into my faith. I started probing for meanings to my own spiritual journey back in April of 2009, when I promised myself I would attend church every week. When my world was shattered with a very broken relationship on January 2nd, 2010, I was so thankful I had started listening to my heart about mending and rebuilding my faith. But, I knew in order to find strength to come out of that heartache, I needed to start being completely honest with myself.

* Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown. (Author Unknown)

That week of January 2nd, I promised myself I would tell myself only the truth every day. I decided to start attending a bible study at my church, and I immediately decided to sign up to finally become a member of my church, after attending on and off for 12 years. Yes, twelve. And I was going to be a "good" girl- the girl I had left behind somewhere in my past.

* Say it's over, say I'm dreaming, say you're better than you left me, say you're sorry, I can take it. Say you'll wait, say you won't, say you love me, say you don't, I can make my own mistakes...let it bend before it breaks... (Brandi Carlile- Before It Breaks)

* God alone needs nothing outside himself, and he himself is the highest and only lasting good. So, all objects we desire short of God are as finite and incomplete as we ourselves are and, therefore, disappointing if we make them objects of ultimate desire. (Guinness- The Call)

Promises, promises...wow, how we like to try to control everything! I did fairly well with that promise to myself for about a week. Then, I found I was patting myself on the back for my "change" and then, falling smack dab in the middle of a lie. I kind of realized at that point that while I thought I was giving it all up to God and letting go, I was really just trying to tell myself that I was GOING TO EVENTUALLY do that, but oh, this soft place to fall was so comfortable- so easy- and so very hurtful to me. I prayed so much, I wept so much- why couldn't I stay in love with this man I spent over two years of my life loving and still love myself AND love God? Why couldn't I have it all? Wasn't this in YOUR WILL God? Why did I waste so much time thinking he was the one? Why do I now feel like I am that girl I was years ago, living my most intimate relationship in secret? This had not been the case just a few weeks before. Everything I felt was returned, and then as soon as I was completely broken I saw how much my love was now not returned in the very least. Every other day, I would go back and forth, feeling like I was strong, then feeling as weak as I've ever felt. I had friends and even strangers, reach out to me in this time of grief, seemingly "time to get grounded" period in my life. I surrounded myself with people almost every day. I put on my game face at work. I wrote a personal mission statement. I sought to discover my spiritual gifts. I would tell myself "you are going to fly Jennie" and I would be so hopeful- but the truth, ahh the truth...you cannot even begin to learn to fly, or hope, without it...

*The revolution of Jesus is in the first place and continuously a revolution of the human heart or spirit. It did not and does not proceed by means of the formation of social institutions and laws, the outer forms of our existence, intending that these would then impose a good order of life upon people who come under their power. Rather, his is a revolution of CHARACTER, which proceeds by changing people from the inside out through ongoing personal relationship to God in Christ and TO EACH OTHER. (Dallas Willard- Renovation of the Heart)

Truth came to visit Friday night. I had spent the day's hours inside, then some outside with the snow, and two dogs, who were enjoying each other so much, that they were driving me bonkers. I entered my room, taking in my little bedroom. I don't turn on lights too much, so I was seeing my room through the light of my computer screen, and the brightness that the snow outside was reflecting from the full moon and snow clouds. I could have turned on the tv, but then, I thought, no, I'll just go to sleep. But something wasn't right. I was trying to listen to the silence for an answer. It can be quite still when you are snowed in. There are no cars zooming by on your road, and honestly, my phone hadn't buzzed most of the day- not even the sound of getting a text message. "Maybe you should read" I heard a voice tell me. Ok...

I have books everywhere. Books in plain sight that I should have read a year ago. Self-help books, books on writing, books on artistry, books on the Beatles, books on spirituality. Wait, yes, maybe I should have picked up one of those. But, no, I found myself getting out of bed and walking over to my cabinet of what I like to call "creativity". It has various journals of the past on it's flimsy shelves, along with boxes of blank cards, planners of years' past, photos, concert tickets, and well, a couple books. I closed my eyes and picked...THE SHACK.

I had no idea what this book was about. It wasn't even really mine. My ex-roomie had given it me to borrow over 6 months ago. It sat in my cabinet of creativity untouched. By the time I had read the forward, I was intrigued. This was my book for the weekend. Barely after the first chapter was finished, my mind was all jumbled and averted to that same ol' someone who had occupied my thoughts most of my days since January 2nd. I stopped reading and yelled at him as if he was in the room with me: "Go away!" I tried to start the second chapter. He was still there. I put down the book. I fervently prayed for God to take these thoughts away from me, atleast for just tonight. "Please God, take them away from me so I can hear You again. I love him and I want him to know how much You love him, so take this away from me now." Almost instantly, I felt a presence in my room that was warm and comforting. I managed to get halfway through The Shack, and drifted off to sleep around 2am, my thoughts focused only on this very loving presence of God.

Saturday morning, I woke up to hear noise- something that had been absent from me for the 24 hours and counting I had spent alone. I was hungry. I wanted coffee. I fixed myself a hearty breakfast, thankful that I had a refrigerator full of groceries for my snowed-in self. I had great expectations of cleaning and organizing, but God told me to read. I spent the rest of the day reading on and off, taking the dogs out to do their business, feeding the dogs, feeding myself, and writing. God's presence followed me through my day, tearing apart my hurt, prompting me to dwell on Him and nothing else. The Shack moved me to laughter, moved me to tears. I realized where my own Great Sadness hid within my heart. (You will understand what this means if you read the book, which I encourage every person to do- as soon as you can!) Through reading the book in its entirety, I was almost sick to my stomach. At the end of the day, I fell into my bed, knowing I could sleep through the night with a peace that I hadn't had for almost a month or more. But, the book, it wasn't finished, and my research on God and myself was not finished, it was only beginning.

I read and I listened. I focused solely on the Presence within me and around me. I started thinking less about my "special someone" and even less about my sadness and the "love" I had for it. I remembered times throughout my so-called "the one relationship" that had broken me, and I hadn't even noticed. I recalled specific lines to lyrics of beloved songs, quotes from various authors I had read over the month of January- the month where I was going to change my life and start my spiritual journey. Advice that had been given to me from friends circled inside my mind, and all the while, I heard the Voice of the Presence and I felt it kneading out a knot in my soul. I fell asleep reading and listening...

* All love and relationship is possible for you ONLY because it already exists with me, within God myself. Love is NOT the limitation; love is the flying. I AM LOVE... (excerpt from THE SHACK by Wm Paul Young)

I woke up this morning from a dream where I was asked to fly an airplane. The pilot had mysteriously disappeared and I was the only one who could do it. However, I just stepped into the plane, and it took flight, without me even being in the pilot's seat. Today was the first Sunday in a long while that I missed my church service. But what I had here, with the snow keeping me in one place, giving me the time in my own "shack" that I needed so desperately with God, was definitely a worthy substitute. I have missed four shifts of working because of this time. I have missed being surrounded by the bustle of company. However, God showed me His truth this weekend. I finally feel like I am really ready to face it all. God is all the love I'll ever need to embrace, and just to think of pouring myself into Him is more inviting than drowning myself into anything or anyone else on this earth. I didn't know I needed such a redemption this weekend, but I did. Over the past 72 hours or so, I have not experienced change, but rather, a motivation to really and truly change my character. The girl I missed so desperately has vanished. I am a woman and a child of God. I am filled with a spirit I cannot begin to explain any further than what I have just written. All I know is I have a long way to go, but I go with the Truth. I will go with this Love, and let it allow me to fly, and I am finally, finally...READY to fly, no hoping to...

This experience I have had is only a fractal of my beautiful mess I have in front of me. I am especially fond of this time (another statement you will understand more clearly if you read THE SHACK).

Finally, I begin, yet, AGAIN, but I begin with the real honest truth...

* Haste then on from grace to glory, armed by faith, and winged by prayer. Heaven's eternal days before thee, God's own hand shall guide thee there. Soon shall close thy earthly mission, swift shall pass thy pilgrim days; Hope soon change to glad fruition, faith to sight, and prayer to praise. (Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken)

* Waiting is one of God's most powerful tools of grace. God doesn't give us grace for the wait. The wait itself is a gift of grace. You see, waiting is not only about what you will receive at the end of the wait. Waiting is about what you will become as you wait. (Tripp- Broken Down House)

to be continued...and believing it's worth the journey and the wait for ...

TRULY tenacious jlee :)

* The solution of the problem of life is LIFE ITSELF. Life is not attained by reasoning and analysis, but first of all by LIVING. For until we have begun to live, our prudence has no material to work on. And until we have begun to fail, we have no way of working out our success. (Thomas Merton)

Phillippians 3:7:

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Oh, tis Love...

I purchased a love calendar over the holidays, to get my daily dose of a "love quote" every day in 2010. Lewis Carroll popped his two cents worth into my Wednesday morning with: "Oh, tis love, tis love that makes the world go 'round."

And I thought, really? I mean, come on, what about Kander and Ebb's "money money money money, money makes the world go around, the world go around..."? Or how about the Beatles' "the best things in life are free, but you can give em to the birds and bees...I want money."

I guess my thoughts immediately turned to money because, well, I tend to never have any. And I also tend to stress about it. This whole "letting go of my old self to make way for my new character" is really tough not only because of the whole concept of it, but because of the money thing, and the lack of it. And while I can go around singing "Love love me do" or "All you need is love" (and truly want to believe it) some days, some WEEKS actually, make me crazy for money, not love.

This week started out as one of "those weeks", and by Wednesday (today), well, I was just up to my ears in bad mood land. How dare Lewis Carroll slap me in the face with love when all I need is just more cash, and a good man to hold me!! The depression that comes with not having money can also make you hungry for love, but yet, makes it difficult to find exactly what kind of love you need. This week, starting when I woke up on the wrong side of Monday, I managed to get love from the simplest of places, yet in the purest form. And the kind of love that I was craving was not the kind that fed me, although I wanted it to.

I am a rather lonely gal right now, but I am trying to hold onto something stronger than I can understand. I am holding on to the One who's desire is to draw me close to Him and for me to hang on. While the thought of this simple statement floors me when I think about it, I still get the little devil in my ear, whispering, "oh, but your misery, your misery is what makes your world go 'round"...

I celebrated a birthday with my favorite customer yesterday and it gave me a dose of love...he mostly shares thoughts and words with me, but those hours in my days make my work so much lighter. He takes care of my co-workers and myself and yet, he feels like he is on the receiving end. He is giving love to me and showing God's love to others. Thanks Tom. Today, I cooked dinner for some lovely gals and they came and shared their presence with me. Love feeding #2. Thanks Toni, Lara and Tracie. (Oh and thanks Mama & Daddy for getting me a Vita-Mix for Christmas...I made quiche, muffin mix, banana waffle mix and a thai fruit drink all in it tonight! This was definitely an act of LOVE.)

Just in those couple hours out of each day, there was very little time to worry about money. There was very little time to think about going to sleep alone. My mind was not racing with thoughts of what I am sure NOT to get on Valentine's Day this year. Those moments reminded me, everything on this earth is ALL God's anyway. Money, people, hearts...And the love, well, the Love from Him is really all you need. Just love.

I continue my spiritual journey- gladly embracing all of this love I am given and hungry for more, yet, hoping I will be giving it more and more as time goes by. I strive on and grip firm to my faith for strength in my loneliest moments, and search for those little loving hours in EVERY minute of my days...let me see those more. The little love filled hours... Let me see them and embrace them with my sorrow, I pray...


http://www.igracemusic.com/hymnbook/demos/JesusIMyCrossHaveTaken.mp3

End of an Era, Beginning of Tenacity

19 days into 2010...and I find myself writing like a fiend. I have changed so much in the past 19 days. I am no longer a part of a dynamic duo, I am just Jennie again. I am just Jennie who is shining because of her journey. I am just Jennie, who will one day become a part of an even better duo in the future, God's just got some work to do on me- work in my heart and in my utmost soul. The "work" He is shaping and molding me with is beginning with a heartache, but I know my heart is getting ready to fly...

20TENacity...that's me folks. Persevering, working hard on my purpose, my mission in this life. I am thirty years old. I am a Christian. I am an artist, as well as the ever-evolving work of my Creator. And I am finally giving it up and letting it go all to Him. Finally. It took my third decade on this earth to finally let go. I'm really there.

And it feels wonderful...

So, I begin with an ending, but I begin! To tenacious living, to singing with my whole heart, to being honest with myself every single day, to finding God's will for my life...time to focus on Jennie's purpose for awhile...AMEN!!